The arrival of a baby within a couple may be wonderful, but it is also a small hurricane that turns everything upside down in its path. And if everyone tries to do their best, it takes time to get their bearings as parents… Then find the energy to invest the couple again. Between the organizational and mental overload, the desire to focus on her motherhood and the bodily transformations that do not help to revive the libido, the birth of a child gives a hard time! So, how to reinvent the life of a couple when you are young parents? Fourchette & Bikini shares its best advice with you.
Take time dedicated solely to the couple
If there is no deadline, psychologists agree that the first three months in the life of young parents leave very little room for intimacy and the couple. The baby – despite its tiny size – takes up a gigantic space. Everyday life is a perpetual race against time, all your attention is focused on your role as a parent, the home is invaded by nappies, comforters, baby bottles and other relics that show that yes, you now live in a house with a baby! But after these first hundred days dictated to the rhythm of baby, things calm down and you can gradually start enjoying moments together again.
Admittedly, just because the baby has been sleeping for a few minutes doesn’t mean you’re necessarily available to share some quality time with your partner. While each person moves at their own pace, one of the best ways to reunite as a couple is to set aside time to celebrate your love. And for that, do not hesitate to ask for help from your loved ones. Your family, in-laws and friends will be happy to take care of your little pearl! If getting your baby to sleep with someone else sometimes requires a very big effort at first, you have to listen to your rhythm, as well as your needs. And once this step is over, you will quickly feel the benefits: those of reconnecting with your partner.
Find yourself in privacy
Then comes the time to find yourself in the intimate setting. And for that, you have to take the time to reclaim your body and your libido. With pregnancy, the body has achieved an incredible feat! But even after childbirth, he continues to undergo transformations that can impact desire. The discomfort caused in the uterus, generalized fatigue, the secretion of hormones that reduce libido, pain, the new shape of the belly… All these elements obviously do not contribute to making sexuality attractive in the first months. It is therefore a question of taking the time necessary to want to find your partner in intimacy. Above all, don’t force things, listen to yourself and let time take its course. You can then gradually reconnect with the carnal. This may be an opportunity to approach sexuality from a new angle, or to rediscover a tenderness that you adore. Massages, hugs, caresses… Everything is good for reconnecting with your partner – skin to skin. You will see that afterwards, things will happen naturally!
Demonstrate mutual listening and empathy
If there’s one thing that doesn’t change between before and after the baby arrives, it’s the importance of good communication. And such upheaval requires being able to speak with an open heart, to feel listened to and supported. In order to better live this new parenthood, it is essential to be able to share the tasks within the home and to be able to create a special bond with the baby. Talking about everyone’s role should therefore be an open conversation, and you will quickly see that it is – at least in the early stages – very frequent. But this phase allows you to lay the foundations of what you want in family life… And in the couple, reinvented through parenthood! So, feel free to tackle anything that seems difficult to you. Do you feel like you can do more than your partner? Tell him. Do you ever think that you are no longer as desirable? Share your feelings with him. Or on the contrary, you have no desire to make love at the moment? Communicate too. Even if some topics can be difficult to initiate, dialogue remains the best way to better understand the other. It avoids many misunderstandings and fosters mutual empathy.
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