“The word cancer is still taboo, people are afraid to talk about it”

Pinned to her shirt, a small pin in the shape of a pink ribbon, which does not leave her throughout the month of October. This symbol of the prevention operation against breast cancer, she wears it everywhere, and without taboo. “There are still a lot of people who don’t want to talk about it for fear that it will bring them bad luck.”, she lets go. So for “demystify” the word cancer, raising awareness on the issue, Martine is involved in the League against cancer. And the month of October is full of appointments, “we go to supermarkets, to psychiatric hospitals, everywhere, to do prevention”she said, flipping through her minister’s diary.

the uterus

The word cancer, Picardy has heard it three times in the mouths of doctors. First in 1993, she was then 36 years old. “They told me I had cancer of the uterus, and that I could no longer have children. I already had a daughter, but I imagined myself with another child”. Her husband supports her, she goes through the ordeal and resumes her work. “I loved my job, I worked for a big food company. I climbed the ladder one by one in the human resources department, and I had a career where I was not bored”.

The left breast

In 2003, when she had been living in the Paris region for several years, during a check-up, a tumor was discovered in her left breast. “The sky fell on my head“This time she has to undergo surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy.”20 years ago, chemos were very hard to bear, today they have made progress.” Her grandson is born, she can’t see him,”because of fatigue and fear of having a virus”, it’s hard, and Martine hangs on. After a year of treatment, she is cured. At the last appointment with his oncologist, the latter told him “you can live now“. A phrase that still angers her today.”I thought I was going to die, I spent a year going back and forth to the hospital, in the hands of the doctors and they suddenly let me go, saying to me, ‘live’. I was lost, and without help”. She gets back to work, never complains, “it’s not in my character, and I don’t want to inspire pity”. Her blond hair grows back, in the eyes of others, she is no longer sick, and resumes her role of support for those around her. “It’s my character, they always call me when we have a problem, I help, but sometimes it’s exhausting”. Life goes on, she divorces, some health problems force her to be on disability.

right breast

She celebrates her 61st birthday when she learns for the third time that she has a tumour. This time in the right breast. Surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, it starts again. “I almost experienced it as a fatality“. Her new companion, who has shared her life for 8 years, accompanies her to the hospital, in Amiens, the city where she has resettled. “One day, while I’m in chemo, I get a text, he says he’s leaving me, and he met someone who is young and not sick”, she says with a nervous laugh. Two solutions:fuck up“, Where “fight and get up“. She takes the second option,”because I love myself too much“. One in two couples separate after breast cancer.

Today, Martine takes every morning, “a little pill“, to avoid any risk of recurrence. His “poison“, as she calls it, because if that “saves our lives, it also destroys us”. The side effects are numerous, weight gain, joint pain, migraines. “The doctors groped before finding the right treatment, this one seems to suit me better”.

Supportive care

During and after her treatments for this third cancer, Martine was able to benefit from support care: sophrology, adapted sport, and socio-aesthetics, where she learned to enhance her blue eyes overseas, and to take care of her skin tired by treatments. “It may seem futile to people, who tell me the important thing is to heal, but when you have no more hair, no more eyelashes and eyebrows, a dull complexion, learning to put on make-up, that’s part of the healing. Looking pretty helps a lot.”. Support care should be reimbursed by mutuals, according to her, after cancer is not sufficiently supported, even if there has been progress.

The sexagenarian also experienced the hassle of finding accommodation after his separation. Nobody wants to rent to a woman who’s had three cancers,”Yet I earned three times the rent“She ended up finding this apartment, with a balcony and an uncovered view of the Amiens countryside.”I was lucky, the owner also had cancer, she was in care with me, and trusted me“. Martine welcomes the new law on the right to be forgotten, which came into force in June 2022. After five years of healing from cancer (compared to 10 years previously), the person no longer has to transmit their medical history to her insurer to take out a loan or insurance. But she wonders if this is being applied in reality.”I know that if my car fails me tomorrow, I will not be entitled to a credit“.

A heavy celibacy

A double jeopardy, according to her. Because if she shows a joyful character, she who is still wants to show that she is moving forward, the worry is still there, lurking deep inside her. “Cancer is a sneaky disease. When people tell me, ‘I too can die tomorrow crossing the street’, it pisses me off, because I also run the risk that the little beast inside me will wake up somewhere else.“.

And his body reminds him of the disease, the scars in particular. “I was lucky not to be mutilated, I kept my two breasts, but the scars, especially those from chemo, on the cleavage, bother me in the summer, when I put on a tank top”. However, she does not fear a future intimate life, if possible in the near future, because celibacy weighs on her more and more. In the meantime, her life is busy, between volunteering at the League Against Cancer, painting on ceramics, and the theater she discovered 3 years ago. “The president of the troop was in care with me. When I broke up, she asked me to come and see a play, for the record, the theme of the play was adultery!. One thing leading to another, she helps with the costumes, she blows the texts, feels good with the troop which she considers little by little as a “small family“, until the day she takes the plunge and takes the stage. “It’s a huge kick! In our new play, I play the role of the mistress, it’s a revenge on life !”.